A Disastrous Day

At this current moment it seems that I could cry. It's funny how the words of a person that you never cared much for can actually affect you. In this instance I'm speaking of the fiancé of a person who used to be my best friend. I know that I've done a lot to earn his hate for me but I have tried sincerely and earnestly to apologize and every time he has thrown it in my face. Now even she joins him in it. I'm afraid that any remaining respect I had is gone and now I seem to feel absolutely nothing towards them at all. I used to think that I possibly owed them something but I no longer believe so. From this moment on they will be as ghosts to me and I will no longer acknowledge their presence. I do not much care for my private affairs to even be slightly made public and although he did not name me I know it was directed towards me. To me when someone says that they want you to fall off the face of the Earth or to drop dead it's a challenge and a threat. To either of those I do not back down and I do not take kindly. Had this been said to my face in a public area he would have been very disgraced and shamed for I would lay out the entire matter for everyone to hear. I am sure that very few people would take his side in the matter for those I have related the whole story to have never sided with him. I will no longer keep their secrets for I am entirely disappointed in the both of them. In  my opinion neither have acted with much dignity of course I know that I have not either in this matter but I at least have tried to in these last few months. I have kept all their secrets and even told lies for them in order to protect them but they are no longer protected by me. I am afraid that once my loyalty is lost it is lost forever. Although I am forgiving, it never entirely for I cannot forget. If I ever forgive them I am afraid we will never be on such good terms as we used to be. I know that I am not blameless in this matter but I have at least tried my best to resolve it and that is all I can do. They are a lost cause to me. I do hope that they are happy together after they are married and have their child. I say I hope because I do not quite think it possible. Maybe sometime in the future I will relay this story to you at. At this point I do not feel at liberty to.

In the mean time all of my friend will be off to college by Monday. I would like to see my closest friend off but I'm not sure if I will be able to. It feels odd not going to college this year and I will miss it and all of my friends. Hopefully I will be back with them in a year or so. It seems that Tech will not even issue me a copy of my transcript and my only hope now is to get a job and pay it off. I hope that I get one soon. I would like to get a job at the hospital. I think I would like that fairly well and I would have insurance and they would support me in financing my education.

I have also been up to many vintage projects. I recently made a tray and have many new vintage graphics thanks to The Graphics Fairy. I have also been trying to work on a very interesting pillow for my friend. He like unusual things and I found a spiky dodecahedron pillow thing to make him. I think he'll like it. I want to finish it before he goes to college but I'm not sure if that will be possible or not.

Also I have just recently finished Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. The movie based on that book is very accurate in most aspects. The book was very good. I am trying to read all of Jane Austen's works and would very much like to own all of her books. So far I have Emma and Persuasion. If anyone could tell me where I could find the others at a good price I would be very grateful.

Well I believe it's time for me to put this disastrous day behind me and go to bed, if possible. I certainly hope tomorrow is a good day, both for you and me. Goodnight.