Fragmented Thoughts

Everything is so repetitive now. I'm not sure if I mind or not. I feel so restless and yet I know that there's one place where I feel at peace. Long, warm arms. I don't feel them very much anymore. Not with any length anyways. I feel lost in a past that I never wanted and yet yearned for all at the same time. A day of happiness and unity with love. I never got that because of betrayal and now it seems I want it even more yet it's not within my sight or grasp. I thought that the feeling was gone but now I realize I've just avoided it. It's like a deep vast ocean of sadness and longing for the only thing I've ever truly desired. I'm unsure what to do or how to convey what I want and how I feel. I feel an uneasy emptiness in a piece of my soul. I want to erase it...